My First Love - Part 3

15/07/2016

My first love, love



I wake up, my head is pounding and my stomach feels funny. The night before is a complete blur: I don't remember much and that's being generous.

I wake my friend up and we decide to get a Starbucks cause you know, we basic bitches. We walk from her house to town and grab some hangover coffee and cookies. We sit in and talk: she fills me in on the night before, leaving out the most important bit. She didn't think to fill me in that I had kissed someone who wasn't my boyfriend. But hey, she probably thought I remembered. I didn't.

We left starbs and made our way to CCYP where we met up with some friends, they were all acting weird with me like I know I projectile vomited everywhere but cmon, stop being weirdos now. The most confusing part was they were pretending to snog an invisible person: tongues an' all. In the end, I was asked "Why you all being so weird for" and they filled me in on the fact I'd cheated on my boyfriend. Great, I thought. The guy I was with already had MAJOR trust issues and now I was going to add to them. I felt fucking awful. I couldn't even remember it and I don't know if that makes it better or worse? A friend of his came over to be and was like "You better fucking tell him before I do!" so obviously I was shitting it. My stomach tightened and basically indicated NO DON'T DO IT HE'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN and my heart was saying "You got yourself into this mess, fess up and go from there" the worst part of it all was the fact it was the anniversary of his mother's death..I know, I know, number one bitch over here.

That night, I log onto msn and we chat. He's in a shit mood because duhh his mum, and basically, he used to do this thing where he'd say all this stuff and then dump me so I thought I may as well tell him now cause he's gunna dump me anyway. Then he says "I know you'd never hurt me" a tear rolled down my cheek as I typed "Last night, I kissed ****" seconds later I was removed from his msn name cause yeah remember, that was a thing back then? and basically got radio silence from him. I apologised as much as I could whilst sat crying in my old bedroom. Everything was fucked. I had fucked everything.

The following evening I went to town, my friend had text me telling me he was there so I thought it's now or never cause I go back to England the next day. Red faced, I try and hold myself together as I strut into Subway where he and our mutual friends sat. I had his jacket in my arms and offer him it back. He declines and tells me to cut it up for all he cares: He can't even look me in the eye. Our friends sit there awkwardly as I look at them before walking out, head down in tears.

Later on that evening, I'm sat outside Mc.Donalds, waiting for my taxi home. I just want to go to bed and cry because of my failed attempt of reconciliation. I turn around and see him with our friends over by blockbuster. I quickly look away cause lol I don't want to seem desperate. Then I notice my ex, you know the one I snogged, walking directly towards him. I'm instantly thinking "oh god, oh no, shit shit shit!" then in a blink of an eye, my old(er) ex is on the floor with my (most recent) ex towering above him, fist raised in the arm and anger in his eyes. My taxi arrives, I ignore it and run over. I scream "If you hit him, you have to hit me too!" in which he replies "You know I couldn't ever hit you, Rorz. You're a girl. I'm not that much of a cunt" from there everything goes tits up. I have some girl screaming in my face, I'm trying to stop my ex hitting my ex and everything fucked. 5 minutes later everyone leaves. I'm sat there alone behind the old telephone box and I just start hitting it. Slow and soft at first, progressing to harder, faster punches. I'm pretty sure I broke 2 knuckles that night because they were still hurting 6 months later.


I got home, went back to England and he didn't speak to me again.  



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2 comments

  1. Wow o.o that was intense! Love this series you have running, it's definitely had me glued to my screen!

    the-emo-wolverine-writes.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading! It's been more difficult than I expected to write this series but I understand it a lot more now and I actually sent the links to him so he can see my side of the story now too! xx

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