Breaking unhealthy habits

12/08/2016

Breaking unhealthy habits


I recently made a declaration of love to myself: I stopped loving myself at some point in my life and now I'm trying to undo all the harmful habits I've created over the years.

It's hard. If anyone ever tells you loving yourself is easy, call bullshit. It isn't. It's as scary as driving to an abandoned mental asylum, climbing over the creaking rusty gates, walking cautiously along the broken path, turning the stiff, cobwebbed door knob, shining your torch inside to illuminate the way and suddenly hearing a harrowing scream. Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but walking through the labyrinth of your mind, opening doors that have been welded shut and trying to paint the insides so it's no longer a neglected, dismal place is hard and scary. But I set myself the challenge and slowly but surely I've been redecorating my mind, plastering and painting the walls, patching up any holes and sanding down any spiky parts. I'm not quite there, but I'm a bit better than I was a few months ago that's for sure!

My main insecurity, I've realised, is my looks. I've got funny teeth and I can't do that contour shit so my face is round and undefined lol I've never felt good about my hair - so I constantly change it: the cut, the colour, and I've even bought wigs which come in handy when I'm too lazy to wash my hair hahah and I'm also buying new clothes monthly to try and fill a void in my mind which screams I'll only be pretty if I have these trousers or those shoes.  

So I've decided to go 2 months without wearing makeup, dying my hair or buying clothes I don't need. I feel this will leave me completely vulnerable. No mask or cover to make me feel 'pretty' - I'm already pretty, but I don't always believe it. I feel doing this will leave me open and bare and will break unhealthy habits I've formed to mask my insecurities. It will make me face the mirror and accept my freckles, the slightly red pigment in my skin, my thinner than I like lips and my really bad faded hair this 2 month thing doesn't include not cutting my hair cause lol I have a fringe and I want to be able to see. I hope this helps me realise I don't need new clothes or a new hair colour to feel pretty, I want to feel happy and comfortable in my skin showing my crooked and slightly yellow from smoking teeth for the world to see without a glimpse of embarrassment entering my mind. Here's to the future gal pals
*clinks imaginary champagne glass*

How have you overcome insecurities?

4 comments

  1. This is such a great post! Loving yourself is so important but it's very difficult. Great post lovely!

    Ella xx
    www.inellaselement.co.uk

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    1. Thanks Ella, it's definitely difficult but worth all the hard work x

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  2. There's no worse critic of yourself than you. I used to think I was too thin, too pale, not pretty enough. I'm gradually accepting myself for me and what I look like, but it's a long road! I'm happy to go out without my makeup on and not have my hair dyed for months at a time, but it took me a long time to get to this place. I hope you find some happiness in doing the same xoxo

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    Replies
    1. It is a long road and I'm glad you're getting there Holly! Thank you for your kind words xx

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