Dear diary, I'm starting therapy

19/08/2016

dear diary, diary, personal post, personal

 

Caro amico, 

My dongle has just arrived praise the lord for argos same day delivery and I've just finished shovelling Chinese takeaway down my throat so I'm feelin' pretty content right now which is comforting considering the amount of stress we've dealt with these past few months. I feel like I've haven't stopped but nothing has been achieved nor resolved. I am actually flabbergasted that it's coming up to September already like we're actually already discussing Christmas shopping so we don't take such a massive hit in December I know, very sensible - I'm adulting well since I turned 21 lol. 

Tuesday, I am starting therapy.

I've mentioned my anxiety and stuff in the past but not really gone deep into it cause I think I'd feel like a bit of an attention seeker. I'm a very open person when people ask me questions but off my own back, I only divulge stories that I can mask with humour. I'm quite nervous, to be honest, I've had therapy before but it didn't really help: I was 13 and my counsellor didn't discuss the things that were troubling me at the time cause she assumed it was to do with my past rather than the present. I saw something on Buzzfeed earlier about bullet journal layouts to track your mental health and there was one where they had a page to write about their therapy: what was discussed, things to work on, things to talk about in the next session etc - I think this is a pretty good idea and think I'll do that when I start. They told me it'll only be for like 6 weeks 'cause my case is quite mild but I think when I get in there it will open up a whole new can of worms and I'll either suppress it all or try and be strong and say actually I need more time, I need more help because in my head it's now or never - I need to get my brain sorted so I have healthier thought patterns. You guys told me on twitter you want to see my personal posts, so I'm going to write about my therapy sessions on here, maybe you guys can learn something from it whether it's positive ways to cope, things you didn't know about me or even things about yourself. My word for the year was 'Vulnerable' so I guess it involved doing this too. 

This is a short and sweet post but I feel good, my stomach is tingling with anticipation of what's yet to come. Hopefully, it'll be better than the last few months but everything happens for a reason so maybe all of this *throws arms drastically in the air* was meant to be.

Con tanto amore,
Arora.






6 comments

  1. Good luck with your therapy sessions! It's important not to make too big of a deal out of it and build yourself up to sessions by taking them as any other day because you can stress yourself out more thinking about having to talk about uncomfortable feelings.

    Mel ★ meleaglestone.co.uk

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    1. Thank you, it went surprisingly well! We had to do stuff beforehand so I had no time to work myself up which was good lol x

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  2. I've done my fair share of therapy and the best advice i can give is BE YOURSELF. Oh god that sounds so cheesy, but it's true. Transparency is the most important thing; just remember they are there to help you, so let them in and help them HELP YOU! Sending best wishes, really hope it can help. Miracles aren't achieved overnight, but in time it should get better xxx

    Bumble and Be

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    1. Thanks Sophie though I think being myself would entail trying to make it all humorous so I don't actually have to face it (whoops) but I'll definitely try to be my "True self" which is hidden deep beneath my coping mechanisms lol. thank you for your words though Sophie, I'll definitely try to remember that they're actually there to help me xxx

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  3. I hope this time it all goes well, I'm looking forward to reading your posts about it. Lovely that you're opening up on here, I think it will help lots of other people x

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    1. Thanks lovely, the post should be up this Friday :)) and i hope me sharing the details helps at least one person x

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