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I'm changing my life in 365 days

I'm changing my life in 365 days


I want to change my life.
I am so sick and tired of being anxious and depressed. It's frustrating, it's limiting and quite frankly, it's boring.
So I'm going to change my life in 365 days.

This idea was inspired by Dottie James, she made a video on how she's also tired of being depressed and how she's going to change her own life in 365 days, so I thought why don't I try too? It's affected my relationships, my education and my work for nearly a decade now and I don't want it taking up any more of my life. I'm done with depression and anxiety. I really can't live like this anymore. It's not going to be easy, fuck, it's going to be so, so hard, but also, so, so rewarding. I'm not going to let my mental health control my life anymore. I'm tired of being the friend who's always down or the one who always cancels because I just do not have the mental, nor physical, energy. I'm posting this on here because you guys can hold me accountable. I'll be posting about my ~progress~ each week. (Yes, I'm well aware I'm completely ripping off Dottie but I think it's such a great idea and challenge to pull me out of depression so I gotta try it. I can't go on living this way.)
Here's how I'm going to change my life in 365 days.

I'm going to do every. single. thing. whole-heartedly. 

Even though I try to live by the motto of "don't do anything you really don't want to do" because I believe if you don't want to do something you're not going to put your whole heart into it and it's not going to be good and you're just going to bring everyone else down with you, I've come to realise even the things I do want to do, I'm not exactly putting my whole heart into. So that's got to change.

Things I could try harder at pouring my whole heart in to:

Keeping in contact with family
♡ Keeping in contact with friends
Writing
♡ Reading all of those unread books on my shelves
Taking time for myself and my mind
♡ Cleaning my room (and keeping it clean)
♡ Meditation
Managing my money more efficiently 
Keeping my body fit and healthy
♡ Taking care of my appearance
♡ Embracing my natural face
Getting & engaging fully in therapy
Leading with love and kindness
(the ones in colour are the most important ones to me)

I've tried a lot of things to make me feel better, I've read an abundance of self-help books, I've taken far too many baths to count, I've had 3 years worth of therapy, I've exercised, meditated, talked, drank, smoked and fucked all in a bid to make me feel better. But I've never put my all into any of it. I haven't completely tried. I've not been 100% all in and invested in what I do in my life. I've never been c o m p l e t e l y present. And so, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to try my best and put my whole heart into everything. I'm going to be completely present in my life. I'm going to be mindful in every. single. thing. that I do. No more taking shortcuts because I'm feeling lazy or unenergised. I will choose the best possible way to do something and engage in it with every atom of my being. 

I've broken it down into sections:

1. The four agreements I will choose to live by and adhere to.

2. To do this year

3. To do weekly

4. To do today

5. To do right now. Now excuses.



The Four Agreements:

I've been reading a book called 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz and you know when something just clicks inside your mind because it just makes sense to you? Well, these agreements did that for me, so for this year (and hopefully in the years to come after that) I will live in line with these agreements:

♡ Be impeccable with your word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. 

♡ Don't take anything personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

♡ Don't make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.

♡ Always do your best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.


To do this year:

♡ Finish my poetry & short-story book
♡ Have stable finances - no more going into my overdraft!
♡ Start writing for money again
♡ Learn how to cook, finally!

To do weekly:

♡ Post updates on changing my life in 365 days on my blog
♡ Post a new poem/short story to Instagram
♡ Deep clean my room & do all laundry (then put it away nicely, not just shove it in a drawer) 
♡ Post a new blog post as well as the update posts on my blog
♡ Facetime my grandparents and be 100% present and engaged in the conversation.

To do daily:

♡ Write. Every single day. Set a specific time to sit down and just write
♡ Read before bed
♡ Move my body. Stretch my body. Do some squats. Just, exercise. For 30 minutes.
♡ Do something creative. Paint/draw/scrapbook/cross-stitch.
♡ Get out of bed before 9am & go to sleep before 12am. 
♡ Post to Instagram daily with a well thought-out, detailed caption
♡ Write 3 things I'm grateful for each morning & night

To do right now. No excuses:

♡ Find a recipe online for something (easy) to cook for dinner. 
♡ Confirm my ticket to Wales for Tuesday
♡ Facetime my Nan and be fully engaged
♡ Finish this blog post and start the next.


So, that's it, I suppose. I'll be posting updates every Wednesday on here and daily on Instagram to see how I'm coming along & how I'm feeling. I'm going to try. I'm going to try really hard to improve my life and I think this is going to work. It can't not. I won't allow it.

What's helped you improve your own life?



4 comments

  1. I love this post! I'm in the same boat. I'm tired of being depressed and letting my anxiety control me. I need to change so I can finally live my life to the fullest. Good luck! ♥

    mooeyandfriends.blogspot.com

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  2. So happy for you! As long as you stick with it I think you'll begin feeling better in no time. It'll be a hard journey but worth it. Good luck!

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  3. I loved Dottie's video and I loved this post. I'm trying my own version of this, but I'm in the process of figuring out what I actually want. I'm currently working through "The Magic" by Rhonda Byrne, which has 28 days worth of things to do for more gratitude in your life - even by just reading the introduction and day 1 I already feel more inspired to work out what I want in life, and be inspired in what I currently do. I'm excited to keep up to date with your life :) good luck!

    Katie | in the life of dreams...

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