Rating my Ex's so you know what you're getting into

I’ve been sat here staring at a blank screen for over half an hour now, I had this great video idea of ranking my exes as if they were on some form of Tripadvisor and so here we are, not doing a video but a written post. Full disclosure, I’m not trying to bash anyone and these ‘reviews’ are based on my experiences only. Also, I’m not including Row in this because well, we’re still in a relationship and I don’t see us breaking up anytime soon..or, yanno, ever🙄


C was nice to begin with, he was my first proper relationship and at the start it was a dream come true at 15. I’m actually being a little generous rating him a 1 because he turned out to be a psychopath who emotionally abused me for the year we were together. He was rather attractive back in the day - these days, not so much (sorry not sorry) but despite the abuse, he introduced me to experiences that I look back on with joy and people I now couldn’t live without. Smokes cigarettes weird, paints like a child and will rinse you out of all your money. Would not date again.

RATING: ✮⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎


R was lovely, he was my first love and I was the one who fucked it. However, upon reflection that relationship would never have worked anyway due to both of our depression and insecurities - and the fact he lived in Wales and I had moved to Bournemouth lol. We still speak on occasion, mainly around mothers day and New Years but it’s nice theres no more animosity between us and that we’ve both grown as humans. Depressed, works hard, gets angry about little things and not longer believes in love. Would not date again but happy to remain friends.

RATING: ✮✮✮✮⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎


D was cool, he asked me out when I was 14 so nothing serious - I kept saying no because I liked him chasing me. He wasn’t exactly my ‘type’ and sometimes I fancied his brother more than him. D was cool, until he cheated on me with my friend after a few months and then blamed it all on me. We were kids though so it’s not as if it keeps me up at night. He also went on The Jeremy Kyle show a few years ago so lucky escape I guess. Bit of a chav, went on Jezza, looks like he no longer washes. Would not date again.

RATING: ✮✮⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎


S is a tricky bugger to rate. We made many, many great memories and experiences. We both grew as humans together, challenging one another and able to talk and laugh about everything. Things weren’t always good though. He’s deceiving - he’s a Gemini after all lol - charming and a little bit emotionally abusive. He cheated on me regularly and whenever I found out it was always turned on me for “invading his privacy.” He’s prone to using people but his great personality sort of makes you forget about it. Chews tissue paper and spits it anywhere he likes, everything you own will be covered in paint and is very hot-n-cold. Would not date again.

RATING: ✮✮✮✮✮⭐︎⭐︎


I wasn’t exactly ~with~ B, but he took up a couple of months of my life so I thought I’d include him - and because I’ve only been in like 3 proper relationships - he was charming and funny at the beginning - are you sensing a recurring theme? but he became slightly controlling, intense and didn’t exactly make me feel good about myself. We ended things on okay terms and haven’t really spoke since. Very normal, typical ‘lad’ will make you feel bad for feeling anxious. Would not ~date~ again.

RATING: ✮✮⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎

Like a said, this was a bit of fun and it’s purely from my experience.
I’ve tried to keep it light-hearted and chances are none of you are going to meet and go on to date my ex’s so we’re all good.