Arora Appleby

a journal of healing, learning + loving

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The future

It's September, the start of my favourite season; autumn. I don't know exactly why I love autumn, it just always signified a fresh start to me. Cosy nights, crisp fresh air that makes me feel alive, hot coffees in the morning and hot chocolate with marshmallows in the evenings. Darkness filling the night earlier and earlier so you can enjoy hours of a candle lit room under blankets with fluffy socks without feeling too hot. I just fucking love autumn okay. But that isn't what this post is about. This post is about the future.

Ever since I was a kid, I never thought I'd make it past 25. I have no idea why I always felt this way but I spoke to my brother and he said he felt the same way too which is strange. I turned 25 a few months ago now and I cried. I had made it to a phase in my life that I never thought I'd reach and it dawned on me that this morbid, mosty subconscious thought had dictated my life a lot more than I realised. I have never planned for the future even though I love having a plan and being organised. I've never tried to advance my career because subconsciously I thought I wouldn't make it long enough to even have a career. I dropped out of college and going to uni never even crossed my mind. 

I never planned for my future because I didn't think I had one. But, I do. I've made it to 25, my anxiety is the lowest it's ever been and the death of my Nan recently has made me realise I truly need to live the life I've always wanted to live. Up until now I've been slowly creating my dream life: I'm getting married, we plan to buy a house, we have a shit ton of pets, I'm happy within myself and have reached peak self-love and acceptance thus far in my life. But now I need to go after my dream career.

I've been working on a membership site that helps guide women through their self development journeys but I've been second guessing it because I'm not qualified in any of the techniques or action steps I'll be providing. I have a decade worth of experience and knowledge through my own life, reading every self-development book i could get my hands on, watching youtube videos and taking unaccredited courses just for fun, but now it's time to take it seriously.

I've always wanted to help people; it's my purpose in life. I've always wanted to be a counsellor, and now I'm going to start my training. I've taken the leap. I always go with my intuition and how things make me feel, and let me tell you, I feel excited. More excited than I've ever been in my life (except from when rowan proposed but that doesn't count) and I just can't wait to get started! 

I'm starting level 2 in a few weeks then providing I pass, I'll enroll in level 3 then go on to do a 3 year degree. I'm excited to learn, and read, and write about what I've learnt and help people properly and professionally. I've already been looking up reading lists and essentials. I've bought a few books on my ibooks app because I can highlight and annotate them on my ipad easily. Plus I can read them wherever I go if needs be. Uni is a few years away from now, we have a lot to sort out in the meantime but right now, the future is looking hella bright. the brightest it's been in a long time for me. 

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