Arora Appleby

a journal of healing, learning + loving

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I got kicked out at 12 years old

When I was 12, I thought I was the shit. I thought I knew everything and didn't give a fuck. I've never liked the idea of conforming, I was hitting that rebellious teenage stage so I did whatever I wanted to do without a care or second thought for anyone else.

I was smoking, I was drinking, I was wearing my hood up around the house (apparently that was a big issue for my nan at the time?) I was a blonde, jumped up white kid thinking she ran the town. Spoiler: I was not.

It was a warm summer's afternoon, a few friends and I were walking through the forest to hunt for our food (there's a Greggs and starbs in town less than 10 minutes away from the school) so we were chatting and laughing, soaking in the summertime air and decided to fuck off school and to stay in town sunbathing and shit, but they got worried and went back to school in the last 10 minutes. Thankfully, or so i thought, I found a few friends that had just left school and decided to hang with them. We sat on the cool grass listening to Bullet for my valentine and Avenged sevenfold did I forget to mention I was a massive emo kid back then? We were just chatting, having a laugh when my phone buzzed.

Now I used to do this thing when I was younger, I used to never look at my phone when I was doing something naughty, 'cause I knew I'd have angry text messages which would ruin my day/night so I usually turned it off but this time I didn't. I looked at my phone anxiously and low and behold, there was a text message from my Grandad saying something along the lines of "Where are you? The school rang and said you weren't in school after lunch. Get home now or don't bother coming back at all"  fear instantly flew through my veins but being the arrogant little shit I was, I replied "Fine, I won't come back" shit shit shit shit what the fuck have I done. I immediately regretted sending that text but the damage was done.

Time went by; the sun started to set, the shops began to shut and my friends began to leave. Half of my brain was saying "Rorz, suck it up, swallow your pride and piss off home, it's cold now" and the other half was saying "Na fuck 'em if they don't want you back, don't bother going back. It's their fault" whilst pondering my decision, the heavens decided to open and soaked me (karma hey?)

I started the long walk home because lol I spent all my money on food (nothing's changed there.) I wandered up and down the street a couple hundred times, trying to prepare myself for the predicted shit storm. It was around 11pm and I was well and truly knackered. I was anxious, angry and tired but I pulled my big girl pants up and strutted into that house like nothing had happened, only to find everyone in bed as though they didn't care whether I came back or not, so I, as the idiot I was, went back out. I plodded my way up and down the canal until I got so wet I was constantly shivering. I went back home sheepishly ~insert generic welsh joke~  and climbed into my warm bed.

I woke up to hushed voices, my nan telling my brother not to wake me up. A confused frown formed upon my head as I thought "what so my punishment for skipping school is to not let me go in today? Well that makes no sense at all?!" I reached over to grab my phone but there was empty space where my nan had clearly snuck in and stolen it whilst I was asleep.. along with my laptop and tv. Great. I laid in bed anxiously waiting for the argument I'd been anticipating, but it never came. My brother left for school and my nan left for work. I was alone and confused. I sat in silence for a good hour trying to make sense of it all. 

After a while or sitting in bed, I started to search for my phone and laptop but couldn't find either, so I decided to use my brother's laptop. Thankfully, he never changes his password. I logged into bebo lol and messaged my then boyfriend basically saying I'm probably grounded so I'll see ya when I see ya. Not thinking I'm going to be shipped to another country or anything. I anxiously awaited the return of my Grandparents by drinking tea and eating cookies cause yanno, I'm British and all that stereotypical nonsense. I also decided to cut my massive emo fringe into a 'box' fringe just for the shock factor. I was quite impressed with how straight it actually was, just a little bit on the thin side.

My grandparents returned, my heart was racing and my thoughts erratic, I slumped downstairs thinking I had best get this over and done with. I nervously made my way through the living room into the kitchen, thinking I am not facing this battle without a good brew in my hand. But no-one spoke. My family are feisty fuckers and tell you what's what regardless if you asked or not so this was beyond strange. It made me more nervous that they were that pissed off, they wouldn't speak to me at all. They wouldn't even shout at me for cutting my fringe. I made my tea, took a look at my grandparents who were happily watching tv and I sulked back upstairs. About an hour later, there was a knock on my bedroom door. I looked up and asked "What?" in my sulky pre-teen voice. The door opens and it's my mum, who usually lives in Bournemouth so now, I was more confused than ever.

"Why aren't you in Bournemouth?" I asked. She basically tells me she's kidnapping me, ruining my life, and holding me captive in her house. We left the next morning, I only took my phone and its charger thinking I'd only be there for a week or two but little did I know, the little packing elves gathered all my shit when I was in the bath and put it all in the car. I still grasped to the tiny thread of hope that it wasn't permanent because WHAT ABOUT MY FRIENDS AND MY BOYFRIEND AND MY LIFE IS RUINED?!!

This post has been re-posted from my old blog with a few tweaks. Part 2 coming soon

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